A small but incredibly capacious book "The Rules of Business Communication" by business trainer Nina Zvereva, puts all the dots on the i's and once again clearly explains what is considered the norm and what is a deviation from the rules in modern rhetoric. Out of 33 “no” and 33 “no”, we chose the most, in our opinion, significant for building correct communications.
Zvereva. H. Business Communication Rules. Alpina Publisher, M. - 2015. The tips collected in this book will help readers become an interesting conversationalist and a successful speaker. A person whom we are always glad to see at official events. And in the circle of friends. Briefly, succinctly with humor, Nina Zvereva does not teach, but instructs and advises.
Nina Zvereva - master of television journalism. Winner of two TEFI awards, member of the Russian Television Academy. As a business coach, he develops the skills of public speaking and communication with managers. Officials and businessmen. He teaches at the Skolkovo School of Management.
It is impossible! Never and never!
1. To the question “How are you? Answer longer than 10 seconds. “Sometimes in the communication classes we do this exercise: to answer the question“ How are you? ”Not on duty“ Thank you, everything is fine ”, but on an intriguing statement, but surely short, so that a person can calmly move on, but could ask clarifying question, and then this is your victory. For example, a senior manager asks you in an elevator: “How are you?”, Vaguely imagining who you are and what you do in his organization. The answer is “Great, thanks” - polite and decent, but you can work hard and come up with another line that will arouse the boss’s interest. For example: “Thank you, Ivan Ivanovich, for the past three months I have been implementing a fantastic project and - can you imagine? - it turns out! ”You can end the conversation on this, because even after this brief information, the boss will leave satisfied, because you are part of his ambitions. But most likely a clarifying question will follow: “What kind of project?” And here you have to use all your eloquence multiplied by brevity.
2. At once, “no” is immediately answered by the proposals of subordinates. The word no sounds like a shot, like a sentence. Even if you see from the very beginning that the proposal is worthless, you need to be able to thank the person and say something that he will be pleased to hear, but will not oblige you to anything: "Interesting, thanks, think, thank you, understand." A person will leave you winged, and everyone will be better off from this, and you will have a chance to really consider the proposal, which you wanted to reject as an unnecessary obstacle in the first second. What if these words make sense? But what if?
3. Talk on a cell phone in the presence of other people. The advent of mobile phones has led to that. That we often witness conversations that we do not need and are not interested in. This is especially noticeable in high-speed trains, airplanes, and buses. When, against the background of general silence, a voice arises broadcasting about the details of a major transaction or sharply raising a child. Everyone is embarrassed. You need to have patience and talk with your loved ones or subordinates only in a situation where there are no extra witnesses nearby. In the same train there are special areas in the vestibule, where you can chat on the phone. It is amazing that our people do not want to get up from their seats and unceremoniously disturb the peace of other people, while sharing confidential information with the whole world. By the way, in Europe it is forbidden to use mobile phones in public places and public transport.
4. Do not call back or answer business letters with at least a short “OK”. It is very unpleasant when a business letter is answered in silence. You are nervous, write new letters, make a phone call to the reception, and all this is solely because the person did not bother to type two letters: “OK”. After all, it is not necessary to write a detailed answer. It is enough to simply inform that the letter has been received and read. For the sender, such a signal is extremely important. This is business etiquette, politeness, and abroad it is customary to do just that, but for some reason we often neglect this.
5. Turn to people on “you” if this does not happen by mutual agreement. If suddenly, instead of “you”, “you” broke out, you should note this as an involuntary manifestation of emotional and business closeness, but be careful to ask for forgiveness or permission to continue in the same vein. "Poking" is a bad tradition inherited from the Soviet party bosses. Try to call “you” even the youngest employees. This will give them confidence and raise their authority in the eyes of not only others, but also their own.
6. Suddenly prefer one person to another. It happens that during You approached an interesting person during a big presentation or New Year's ball, and suddenly someone joins your company whose attention you could not even count on. Naturally, your attention instantly switches to a new hero. This is understandable, but completely unforgivable. After all, your first interlocutor also has eyes and ears, and he will be humanly offended and unpleasant that he so openly chose someone else. You can’t do this, and if there are no common topics, it’s better to stay talking to the person you are approaching. It's like inviting a girl to dance, and then prefer her another, more attractive.
It is possible and necessary. Everyone and always.
1. Define your goal. It all starts with a goal. We know for sure that we must speak or should approach a certain person, and we begin to act. That is, we start talking or approach someone and “pull the sleeve”, and all this, before we answer our own question: in fact. - what for? What is my purpose? What exactly I want: to draw attention to myself. Turn the discussion in a different direction, get to know each other, say a compliment, tell this person about your new project?
If the goal is not defined, nothing good will come of it. Oddly enough, your listeners or interlocutors feel your doubts and understand that you do not have a well-thought-out “scenario” of conversation. Imagine that at some celebration, a respected person approaches you and begins to “load” with the details of his life and work, while you are completely uninterested and even, perhaps, embarrassed to listen to.
Your interlocutor approached you just like that, without a goal? Then you immediately have a clear goal - to stop communication under any plausible pretext and to escape. Familiar situation? Now turn it, but with a focus on you. You see a familiar face, you want to come. You do not know why, but I want to. It seems to be bad? The bad thing is that even if you get out of an inarticulate polite dialogue, your interlocutor will have an unpleasant feeling, as a result of which a reflex may develop to avoid meeting with you.
Think about the goal. Tell us about a new project? Yes! But briefly, clearly, distinctly. Introduce yourself and offer a partnership? Yes! But fun, and again briefly. The goals may be different:
But remember - it should be only one. And you yourself must clearly define it.
Is the goal clear? Now we need to find the words. But they will depend on three important components: audience, format, moment.
2. Skillfully imagine yourself. There are two mistakes that are usually made by introducing oneself, and both of them are serious. The first is when a person talks for a long time about himself, and above all, about his merits and exploits, as if trying to persuade the public to respect his resume. And the second - when, on the contrary, he does not consider it necessary to communicate something about himself, since, in his opinion, everyone should know and respect him anyway.
In my opinion, you need to have some kind of legend about yourself, based, of course, on the real facts of the biography, and then - depending on the audience, format, moment and most importantly - on the purpose of communication - you need to be able to imagine yourself and do it as accurately as possible. The best way to self-presentation is self-irony. For example, the wonderful TV presenter and clever Alexander Pushnoy introduced himself to journalists as a failure physicist and explained that he was born and raised in the Novosibirsk Academgorodok and was destined for a scientific career. He kind of laughed at himself, lowered the bar, but actually won. Because in Russia there is no person who would not know about the existence of a Siberian physical school.
Even if you take yourself very seriously, look for the right words - try not to brag and not press on the public with power, victories, regalia and achievements. It is much more interesting to talk about successes through failures and imagine yourself as Alexander Akopov, who likes to quote Socrates: “I only know that I know nothing.” Recently, I advise you to do short self-presentations, answering three questions: my achievements, my motto, my dream project. It turns out fresh and compressed. Especially when the first question is answered this way: “I am alive, healthy and in demand” or “I have met the expectations of my parents !. The hall smiles, and everything is pleasant. Self-irony is an instrument of strong and confident people.
3. Use nouns and verbs. Recently, I almost hated adjectives. The fact is that people very rarely manage to find an exact and fresh definition, and they habitually use the hackneyed words: “wonderful”, “amazing”, “unique”, “exclusive”, “amazing”, “terrible”, “impressive”. And even - oh horror! - "exciting"! At one of the seminars, we conducted an experiment. I asked the participants who came from different cities of Russia to tell about their city on a television camera in a minute and a half. At my request, they should have revealed his name only in the last sentence, and before that they could describe the city in such precise and vivid words that they would immediately want to come to oud and see everything with their own eyes. We recorded these performances in private with each listener, and they could see the result only when they all gathered together in the classroom after the end of the recording. What was their horror when it turned out that they spoke the same words about Magadan, Kostroma, Saratov . All the stories featured "a hospitable sunny city with smiling residents, unique nature and diverse crafts." After everyone recovered from the shock, I asked to write 20 nouns on a piece of paper, that is, to find 20 exact words that would draw a picture, and we could see it. The fact is that nouns are like paints on the canvas of your speech. There are details, associations. And most importantly, the creative, fantasy part of the brain is included, and not just the structural-logical one. The listener and the interlocutor are always pleased when he can easily imagine a picture. This is how to swallow a vitamin of joy. We get tired of reasoning, facts, figures, and the need to think and analyze logically. I want to fantasize and imagine. And this is exactly what nouns give. The outcome of our workshop was wonderful. I still remember the story about Magadan: “the cold Sea of Okhotsk, the harsh wind that blows not only a child, but also an adult. Huge flocks of smelt, which are caught in basins, and then boiled and fried, and the smell is on the whole city. The sadly famous and terrible camps and thousands of people who could leave but did not leave. Incredible colors of autumn, there are no such colors in the center of Russia: bright yellow, bright green, bright red - even the eye hurts. " And about Kostroma we heard completely different words: porcini mushrooms, Ilya Muromets, forests and swamps, quiet measured life, one large supermarket and one modern cinema for the whole city.
I saw the eyes of people at that moment when they listened to short and vivid stories — pictures. And then I took several volumes of verses of various good poets, and we blindly chose a book, page, line and were surprised at how many poems there are in the music of nouns, and if there are adjectives, how accurately they are chosen.
And, finally, reading Voznesensky and Mayakovsky, we remembered the existence of verbs. Verbs do not help in the consciousness of the picture of the world, but they ignite, excite, motivate. They change ... Verbs are known to be. Motivation for action. This is almost an order: "Read, envy ..."
I noticed that a good presentation, especially if it is short, involves the use of nouns at the very beginning and verbs in the end of the speech. And this is understandable, as nouns help to see the picture and engage the audience. And verbs motivate to action: “Do you understand everything? So let's act! ”
You must be able to serve a dish of exquisitely selected words as your signature. That is, to pause, correctly intonate, change the pace of speech and the volume of the voice. We must be able to highlight the very words on which your message is held on stilts ...
4. Look into the eyes. ... Glance is a tough and powerful tool. If a person hides his eyes, lowers them to the floor or raises the ceiling - something is wrong here. Trust does not arise. Or if your interlocutor, as they say, stares at your neckline or any other part of the toilet, then you will instantly feel awkward and it will be difficult for you to conduct a conversation freely and fully. Therefore, the gaze must be controlled. A good communicator with an eye only can achieve the full attention of the audience. People will tear themselves away from their gadgets and stop rummaging in their purses if the speaker confidently and accurately looks into the eyes of each person individually, but at the same time keeps the entire audience with side vision. Is it possible? Yes, and even easy, if you are not afraid to communicate with your eyes and understand that personalized views are the connecting link between people during communication ...
5. Formulate briefly. We live in an age of high speeds and a powerful flow of information. Anyone. Who wants to tell someone. He puts himself in a situation of competition with the Internet. You started to say something interesting and paid attention to you. Fine! Now the main task is to speak briefly, accurately and cheerfully, otherwise you will lose the attention of your listeners. Moreover. cause annoyance and irritation can not be viscous ...
... Sometimes, at our seminars, very literate and beautifully speaking people appear among the audience. As a rule, their disadvantage is inability and even unwillingness to speak briefly. They try to keep the intrigue, tell a lot of interesting details and lose the feeling of an adequate ratio of the number of words and the amount of information that the listener expects. There are many words, there are many details, but the thought develops slowly, and people get nervous, because they are only listening because of a good upbringing, and not because they are interested.
One young man at the request to briefly tell the biography spoke about 10 minutes. Then he looked at the record and was horrified, made a new version for eight minutes and was again surprised. He could not lay down his biography in a minute and a half. Such people are sometimes simply afraid to ask about anything because they do not want to waste their precious time listening to a long monologue. Let quality. Eloquence and the ability to articulate thoughts well, unfortunately, are not a guarantee of success. A person should be able to master the art of monologue to the same extent as the art of replica. It is necessary to monitor the reaction of listeners and be able to quickly finish any story., If their interest goes out. Learn to speak short, as easy and fun as possible. Now is the time for just such speakers and communicators. Now the time is not a match, but a pitch. People like bright and aphoristic speech, when each phrase is almost a slogan.
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